LET'S TAKE A PEEK AT THIS

YOUR MORNING "STUFF" FROM YOUR TIO LUDWIG

UNCLE LUDWIG TAKES A PEEK AT YOUR FUZZIE QUEERIES

Humour for the rest of us.


GUt Morgen ya'll, buenos dias, buon giorno, bon jour. This week we are answering more of the moronic questions that have been submitted by our demented readers. As always Uncle Ludwig (Tio Ludwig for all you Hispanics out there) has applied his gigantic intellect to come up with answers that are both brilliant and funny.

The first question was sent in by Rev. Bubbba Joe Martinez, pastor of The First Church of the Magnificent, Enlightened, All Seeing Prophets, in Peach Fuzz Georgia:

Q: Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?
A: The answer is obvious Rev. Because it might lead to dancing.

This one comes from Lullah Mae Wong, a waitress from San Francisco California:

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: Shit Lullah Mae! everyone knows that one: A bingo machine.

Bernice J. Marmaduke from Doorknob Indiana asks:

Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs while you vacuum. At least that's how I help the little woman (I am married to a 3 ft midget you know)

This intriguing queerie came to us from a Frosto Zrkstynky, from Krakked Poland:

Q: What are two reasons why Rush Limbaugh don't mind his own business?
1. No mind
2. No business

Joseph Miller, an attorney from Dallas Texas, asked us this silly question:

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline! Hear that Joe?!! You better buy an umbrella.

G W B, from "The White House" in Washington DC. wants to know:

Q: How can you tell if your wifes cooking is really lousy?
A: George, your name is George isn't it?, You can tell her cooking is really lousy when Pygmies from the Amazon come to dip their arrows in it.

Julie Plunger DeTualet, from La Merde France send in this winner:

Q: Uncle Ludwig, mon cherie, what do you get if you cross a cow with a massochist?
A: Cream that whips itself! you dumb French putain!

We had innumerable other stupid questions but I became rather nauseous answering the above, so I'll save the rest for another time, most probably sometime in the 22nd century.



SUNDAY JOKES TO MAKE YOUR DAY.

Two British drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says,"I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"

and finally (aren't you glad?)

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Mexican, an Italian, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Nun walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Some kind of Joke?"

As always, Uncle Ludwig welcomes your stupid and moronic questions. So go ahead make my day, send me your queeries (and I don't mean small homosexuals).

For a FOON tyme go to: www.therockalltimes.co.uk