I AM BACK FROM A LONG SLEEP

Hello Nephews and nieces, well I am back after a long and well deserved nap, okay so my nap lasted almost nine months, so call me sleeping beauty then! But at least I am back in time for the elections. My prediction? 1) There will be winners. 2) There will be losers. The losers will be the losers that have screwed us all up the last 12 years and you know who they are. The winners then will act like losers and then the losers will become winners in about 12 years. Ah, the wonderful world of politics.

HEAD LINES FROM LATIN AMERICA

HUGO CHAVEZ GETS A VASECTOMY.

At least now Venezuela won't worry about spawning a Hugo jr. from the major screwing it's getting from "El Comandante"

EVO MORALES ADMITS TO HAVING SOME SPANISH BLOOD.

President Morales will enter psychological rehab facility in Havana in order to deal with the awful truth of his ancestry.

LULA OF BRAZIL HAS A LULU OF A VICTORY PARTY, CELEBRATION'S THEME: A HAWAIAN LUAU, THUS: LULA'S LULU LUAU.

The Brazilian President nearly chokes on Poi, quick action by the a Brazilian Carnival queen saves his life, or at least that is the story we were told when a photo of Lula and and unknown woman in a "lip lock" was released to the press by opposition party member Joao Gilberto Y Barbo.

HAITI TO SEND MAJOR MONETARY ASSISTANCE TO SIERRA LEONE.

A check for $ 250.00 given to ambassador Ukulele by Haitian Foreing Ministry representative Jean Luc Picard.

COMING SOON:FAVORITE CHILI RECIPES FROM DONALD RUMSFELD, WHO IS EXPECTED TO RETIRE VERY SOON. PLUS BARBRA STREISAND'S BOOK OF CONSERVATIVE WISDOM AND HOLIDAY GIFT SUGGESTIONS FROM FORMER CONGRESSMAN MARK FOLEY; "WHAT TO GET THE YOUNG MAN IN YOUR LIFE"