NOW, THIS IS SOME WEIRD CRAP

TOILET PAPER FOR BIG - ASS PEOPLE
UNCLE LUDWIG's WEIRD NEWS
The Weird editon...news for the rest of us.
Stardate 2854-46
Hungarian Historian wants to sue Vlad the Impaler for being a murderous, bloodsucking asshole.
Prof. Bela Gabor, director of the National History Museum in Budapest has reportedly hired a group of lawyers in New York City. It is reported that he wants to sue all the descendants of Vlad the Impaler, the bloodthirsty, 12th century Count from Transylvania. Professor Gabor will be asking for at least $1 Billion for reparations. He insists that generations of Hungarians have been subjected to abuse and ridicule as their country has come to be known as the "birthplace of Count Dracul" or Count Dracula, the human vampire. "We will not be ridiculed any longer" stated the professor, "that bloodsucking asshole will finally be held accountable for his misdeeds". The only known living descendant of Vlad, a taxi driver in Miskolo, a small city northwest of Budapest, has not been able to be contacted for a comment as he is rarely seen during the daytime. His last known address, an old castle in the Ural mountains is a crumbling old pile of rocks and mortar, apparently abandoned for many years. Villagers near the castle speak of strange "things" and of the disappearance of several village virgins every year at Hallow's eve.
(from Uncle Ludwig knows all, sees all Sept.19th, 1957)
MORE WEIRD LAWSUITS
Egyptian law scholar Nabel Hilmi told a weekly newspaper in Cairo in August that he and other Switzerland-based expatriates are preparing a lawsuit against "all the Jews in the world" for the "trillions of tons" of gold and jewelry that Jews swiped during their exodus from Egypt in the time of the Pharoahs. Also in August, a 14th-generation descendant of Montezuma asked the Mexican government to reinstate the long-dormant pensions the king of Spain agreed in 1550 to pay the descendants for the appropriation of Aztecs' land. [The Forward-Al-ahram Al-Arabi, 8-9-03] [BBC News, 8-22-03]
Weird and funny site of the week: www.joecartoon.com you'll love this one.
So who cares? (weird stuff no one really gives a caca about)
sent to us by Walter Pidgeon from Hollywood california.
BIG FREAKING BOID!
The ostrich standing 8 feet tall and weighing 300 pounds is easly the largest bird in the world. (sounds like my girl friend, Wanda)
Today's words of wisdom: "It is better to have lost a love that to haved loved a loser" Hmmm! sounds rather familiar, don't it?
As always, Prof. Ludwig Van Volkswagen welcomes your ideas, suggestions and used clothing. Send to: Uncle Ludwig C/O: The Bronx Zoo, The Bronx, N.Y.
Moochas Gracias to my crack research team ( or is it my research team on crack?): Aldo "Boom Boom" Grottesco; Bertha "Lips" O'Hoolahan; Fernando "Pancho Villa" Bush; Irving"Matzos Butt" Levin; Natalio"Rey"Colas; Juanita "La chichona" Martinez and last but not least; Mao Zeb Tongue, on loan from the People's Republic of China.
See you next week

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