UNCLE'S JOKES

THE "HARDEE HAR HAR" GAZETTE
Vol. 1, Number 1

UNCLE LUDWIG PRESENTS: JOKES FROM HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all
grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, ...she's dead."



A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket, then headed
for the express line. The clerk had his back turned to her, so
she said, "Excuse me young man, I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out,
please?" The clerk turned around, looked her up and down and said, "Nice tits lady."



The increased use of Viagra by seniors created a demand for a
sexual lubricant to address the special needs of that age
group. The makers of K-Y jelly have developed a new lubricant
called Oil of Old Lay.



Q: What separates five female nymphomaniacs from two alcoholics?

A: A cockpit door.


The young American blonde on her first trip to Paris decided to
test the French male's fabled lovemaking expertise. That night
she asked her date what he intended to do with her.

"First," he replied, "I will remove ze dress. Zen I will carry
you to ze bed. And zen," he added with an air of triumph, "I
will kiss ze navel."

"I'm supposed to get excited about that?" the blonde said.
"I've had my navel kissed hundreds of times."

"Ahh, but of course you have," shrugged the Frenchman, "but
from ze inside?"


DISCLAIMER:

The Hardee Har Har Gazette is not responsible for any injuries that may result from laughing your ass off. Uncle Ludwig Publications and it's employees do not condone extreme forms of humor, we are moderate humorists, drink Postum at breakfast and spinach quiche as often as possible. Our comedy writers have signed an agreement in wich they agree not to have sex more than two times a week and only with partners they have known for more than 24 hours. We encourage all our employees to read at least 25 words a week. All our writers know at least one Republican personally. Mexicans are allowed in our Corporate headquarters.

Photos and illustrations by Mondoleeza Rice-Aroni